drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize