So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
Randomize
