One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
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