is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
