bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
Randomize
