me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
