She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
Randomize
