theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
