i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
a search helicopter?!
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
Randomize
