I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize
