The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
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