and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
Randomize
