all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
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