Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
