you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
That was an excessively violent trivia night
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
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