Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
Randomize
