I wannas sexs uuuuu
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
Randomize