He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
Randomize
