so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Randomize
