Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
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