we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
Randomize