How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
Randomize
