Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
What a dumb baby whore.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
