I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
Randomize
