did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Randomize
