Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
Randomize
