this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
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