sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
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