So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
