I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
Randomize
