halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
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