this boner is exhausting
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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