You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
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