He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
