Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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