remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize
