this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
whose parrot is this?
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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