finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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