omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize
