Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
