we have pet lesbian snakes
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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