just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
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