After last night, I could never be a politician.
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
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