Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
