U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
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