My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
Randomize
