in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Randomize
