i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Randomize
