I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize
