Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
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