it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
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