Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
Randomize
