why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
Randomize
