Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
Randomize
