Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Randomize
