I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
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