Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
he wants to bone in the snuggie
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
Randomize
