okay pat passed out under dana's car
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
Randomize
