question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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