white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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