Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
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