Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
Randomize
